I don’t think today was a great writing day…in fact the day itself was difficult. Yes, I reached my goal but my mind is so distracted by all of the horror I’ve seen in the last 48 hours.
There is so much grief across our world right now, the air practically wreaks of death, and for once we didn’t cover it up and wrap a pretty ribbon around it. How could we, when within 48 hours the blindfolds have been ripped from our eyes?
We need to do better.
I don’t want to hear anymore of this “try” nonsense. There is no excuse for the cruelty, and sickness of it all.
Yesterday I thought I wanted to vomit, and today I am livid.
I managed to write. I tried to focus…God I tried to focus, but my hands would literally start shaking. I cannot express to you how…how frustrated this makes me.
This isn’t right. This isn’t just.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a breath and try to collect your thoughts. It’s okay to feel upset or angry. It is okay to feel this way…but you need to be sure you are checking in with yourself, and making sure that when these sorts of overwhelming emotions arise, that you are taking the time to care for yourself.
I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to go to sleep while I’m upset, but I’m struggling to write this new chapter because my mind is focused on more pressing matters. That is okay. I’m not going to beat myself up for something like that.
I tried writing a piece describing these emotions I was feeling…because I…I really don’t know what to…honestly I’m speechless.
I’m praying tomorrow will be a better day for us all….
I’m going to drink some water…maybe have a cup of tea, and watch something fun on YouTube. Something that will hopefully, lift my spirits a little bit. I know distractions don’t always help, but it is hard for me to be creative when my heart is…is just crying out like this.
We have to do better.
Ardin Patterson 