Question 1: Where is your favourite place to be alone and why?
My favourite place to be alone? I’m not sure I even like being alone–wait! My bed. My bed is my favourite place to be alone. Sleep is precious and shouldn’t be interrupted…but mine is. Constantly. I just want to sleep in till noon. I haven’t been able to do that in forever.
Question 2: What is your favourite holiday?
All Holiday’s that include large meals. Especially if I get desert. It’s important to have a good meal. I wish there was a holiday where all you had to do was eat.
Question 3: Describe your family in 8 words.
Eight? You’re kidding me right? That’s way too many. Okay! Fine, I’ll answer. Um…can I do it per relative? Certain words I reserve for certain people and I’d rather not accidentally associate them with undeserving people. What? I am not complicating this…okay I might be just a little.
Rose, Caspian and Julius are funny, smart and tiring…comforting but I seriously can’t keep up with them anymore. I hate getting older.
Lawrence is imaginative and insane. Mostly insane but in a good way.
My parents? I can’t really use those words here…their not family friendly. How about stiff and strict? That’s all you get. I prefer not to speak to ill of my mother. I haven’t been the easiest…person to deal with. Next question.
Question 4: What is something that people make fun of you for?
A few things. My niece thinks I’m boring…which I’m not. I’m definitely the most interesting person alive. Haha…she’s probably right. I don’t get out much, nor do I want to these days.
I’m also banned from the local pub for a poorly made decision that I’d prefer to never mention aloud…as I barely remember doing this. Okay I do remember. I just don’t want to tell you. Fair?
Question 5: What is the most memorable untrue rumour that has ever been spread about you?
You should hear some of them! Some little girl said I stabbed my parents to death in our parlour. I made sure to let her know that my mother is alive, and that my father wasn’t stabbed he was shot. Next question?
Question 6: Do you have any nicknames? If so which is your favourite and which ones do you hate?
My best friend started calling me Rolly after he had dinner with my family and I and heard my brother say it. I don’t hate it. I prefer that than when he calls me an idiot. We both know I’m the smartest between the two of us. I’m a bad liar…we’re both stupid and impulsive. That’s why we’re friends.
My other nicknames are murderer, handsome devil and a few others I again can’t say with children present.
Oh and my father just called me “boy” all the time. I don’t think he really cared what my name was? I’m named after him too…prick.
Question 7: What are 3 things that you would never do?
Give up sugar, leave Peter in charge of my children for more than an hour, kill people.
No one ever believes the last one…so I don’t blame you if you want to end this interview early. You don’t? Oh. Well okay but I have somewhere to be in about twenty-minutes so let’s keep this short.
Question 8: What’s been on your mind lately?
Money. See, I’m broke and I really don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford buying all of these clothes and toys and books and things for the kids. I just realized that I called the kids, my children earlier…I’m not a parent. I’m their uncle. They’re basically mine…but I don’t–I’m single. So if you don’t mind a family of four, living with a rumoured murderer and have some cash on hand to lend me, I’d be willing to change my relationship status.
No really, do you have $30? I want to buy this hat I saw in the window of the dress shop. It’s got a ribbon in the back and I think Rose would like it.
Question 9: What is your favourite season and why?
I used to like Summer. I didn’t have to stay indoors all the time. My friends and I had bonfires by the lake and I’d bring my guitar with me. I’m a lot better at piano but guitars are portable.
Dianna used to try to get me to go swimming…but I don’t know how. I almost drowned as a kid and my parents never let me back in the water.
Nowadays, I surprisingly like the Fall. Food tastes better in the Fall and I love the rain. I hate getting caught in it but there’s just something pretty about colourful leaves against a grey sky.
Question 10: What do you want to be remembered for?
What’s the sense in being remembered for anything? We die and are forgotten after a few generations. Do you honestly think I give a damn about those dead people we learned about in school? If I had to choose I’d rather not be remembered. I can’t think of one reason why anyone would want to remember me….
Well actually…it would be nice to be remembered for something. I just don’t want to be remembered as a jerk or a murderer or as stubborn but people only remember the things they think are interesting about you and honestly I’m not that interesting.
Doing this interview was fun but also very difficult. Roland doesn’t cooperate well when he’s hungry or tired…and I think he’s both today. Today I’m going to be drawing him and his best friend. I try to record my drawing process and post that to my Instagram story. If you ever miss a day, I save the stories to my drawing highlights.
Anyway, I hope you liked meeting Roland. I debated interviewing him first but I answer most of the Twitter character questions with him so it made the most sense.