Perhaps that’s the exact feeling I’m waiting for?

We’ve now reached the cover process for my novel and I’ve been finding that this stage has my thoughts going in ever direction, which is why I’ve been making notes and taking my time to really work through what it is I want. Not to my surprise, sitting around staring at images all day doesn’t seem to help me make a decision faster. I contemplate each element of the piece, and try to make a list of questions I have. I’m starting to realize that I don’t just want it to be right, I want it to be perfect. I want whatever I choose to feel like it belongs on my book. I want this cover to be something I’d pull off the shelf myself, something that peaks my interest and makes me want to take it home. I want to be confident when I make that final decision, that this is exactly what I want. I don’t want to be in that state of contemplation, of indecision, of unease…so I’m going over the images again and again, debating on if it really does feel right.

I wonder if this is what it’s like when you’re choosing a wedding dress? Was I this obsessed with picking the perfect prom dress years ago? I had a certain criteria sure, but I think at a certain point I put one on and it was the perfect fit and perhaps that’s the exact feeling I’m waiting for? I’m waiting for that perfect fit.

Still, at this moment in time I’m not sure what I want to do, which frustrates me because I like to give prompt responses. I don’t like to leave anyone hanging. I guess this blog post is also me figuring things out.

I hope I get to the point where I do. Where I can picture holding that book in my hand and go “This is the one.” Until then, I’ll be staring off into space, eating banana bread and enjoying a cup of tea.

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