Apples and Worms

Apples & Worms

Ardin Patterson, Sept. 1st, 2020.

I once cut my arm

Just so I could breath

Cause my lungs were filled right up

With something heavy

And it made me sick

I thought I might throw up

I didn’t but I wish I had

I didn’t but I wish I never lied

I didn’t but I wish I had

I didn’t but I wish I wouldn’t smile.

Dodo, dododo, laladi, dada (x2)

I wrote it in my own blood

The letters of my name

Cause my reflection was all screwed up

I didn’t look the same.

Inside me rose a panic

It fluttered, it crept in deep.

Dug a hole inside my body

Where my heart used to beat.

Dodo, dododo, laladi, dada (x2)

Let me out

Hear me crying

On the bedroom floor

Little fears have eaten me alive

From the inside

Like an apple devoured by worms.

Here I am broken

Needing someone to hold me up

But I chased them

With fire

Said I had it all figured out.

Dodo, dododo, laladi, dada (x2)


More Music

Under Birch Trees

Lyrics Within this swamp land The mist it hovers It creates circles Around your brothers It lingers softly Beneath your feet It looms and it […]

You and Me

Lyrics I know you and me Could be More than two I know you and me Could be I don’t want to say goodbye To […]

Under Birch Trees

Lyrics

Within this swamp land

The mist it hovers

It creates circles

Around your brothers

It lingers softly

Beneath your feet

It looms and it hovers

Along it creeps

Circling, circling

Lingering

It’s lingering

Circling, circling

Lingering

It’s lingering

(Ah, it draws you near/Within this atmosphere you feel no fear)

Smoke hangs in the air

And draws you near

Within this atmosphere

You feel

No fear

Under birch trees

And foggy skies

You forget that

We all die

Under birch trees (Circling, circling. Lingering, it’s lingering)

The air is clear (Circling, circling. Lingering, it’s lingering)

Except the mist that hangs (Circling, circling. Lingering, it’s lingering)

It’s always here

It’s always here

It’s always here


I wrote this song while thinking about the swamp my friends and I used to hang out in as teenagers. I’d get so many mosquito bites, but there was something pretty about all birch trees, trilliums and the mist on the water that always sparked our imagination.

This song is dedicated to them.

I Lost My Head – New Single

As promised, I’ve released new music. I tend to sit on songs for months (sometimes longer) before releasing them.

Along with I Lost My Head, are two other tracks, Under Birch Trees and Apples and Worms.

Lyrics

I lost my head

At the party

When you kissed her

And not me

I lost my mind

When I saw you hold her

You pulled her in closely

Why can’t I just accept that

You’ll never love me

You’ll never look at me

Not like that

Why Can’t I accept that

We were never meant to be

You are not my happy ever ending

I thought you cared

I thought you knew

I thought you understood me

Because you noticed

When no one else did

That my spirit was crumbling

And I was losing sight of me

I punched a wall until my knuckles went number

I felt so dumb

Thinking you wanted someone like me

I let my heart

Get devoured

By my false insecurities

My insecurities

I lost my head

At the party

When I saw you kiss her

And not me

I lost my mind

When I saw you hold her

You pulled her in

Closely

Why can’t I just accept that

You’ll never love me

You’ll never look at me

Not like that

Why can’t I accept that?

You and Me

Lyrics

I know you and me
Could be
More than two
I know you and me
Could be
I don't want to say goodbye
To you
I know you and me 
Could be

Ah (Could be)

I know you and I
Could be 
More than two
I know you and I
Could be (be, be)
I just want to be 
With you
I know you and I
Should be

I know you and I
Could be 
More than two
And I think you and I
Would make a good team
I don't want to say goodbye
To you
I want us 
To be
Don't you want to
Stay with me?

Ah, ah, ah (You and me)

You and Me

I think you and me
Should be
More than two


I wrote this song back in university. It’s one of those songs that I never wrote the lyrics out for, and recorded on my phone while alone in my room. I rerecorded it in my studio after it was built, and although I intended to release it when I released Heart and Juliet, I waited.

I initially wrote this song about someone I had been close to, while we were drifting apart. Maybe one of these days I’ll share the original rough version of the song that I recorded with my phone, although the lyrics are different and much sadder, whereas this version is a little more hopeful.

Songs You’ll Want On Your Playlist Based on Your Favourite Character

Roland

Dianna

Nicholas

Rose

Peter

Micah

Zana

Thompson

Julius

Caspian

Vincent


Read More about Vermin

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I’ve been writing the third book in the Vermin series by hand, which has honestly been cathartic. I don’t know why I stopped drafting novels […]

Nicholas’ Playlist

Hallet, Matya Frudach!

Translation: “Hello my friend!”

In today’s post I’ll be sharing a handful of songs off of Nicholas’ playlist. Like Roland and Dianna’s playlists having songs that overlap, Nicholas’ songs at times overlap with Rose’s. His playlist has more of a cinematic feel to it compared to my other character’s. I’d say Roland’s at time has this element as well, but many of his songs are selected based off his experiences or states of emotion, whereas Nicholas’ tend to be based off different scenes, chapters or even ideas still floating around in my noggin.

I’ve always adored Amy Lee’s voice, and absolutely love this song for Nicholas’ journey.

If you haven’t had a chance to grab a copy of Vermin, you can get the ebook and paperback through Amazon, or grab the paperback from Indigo.

Now, if you’ve already finished the first book, don’t forget to leave a rating or review on Goodreads or Amazon or follow the official series tiktok @theverminseries for more book and character related content. I’d also love to know who your favourite character is!

So far from what I’ve heard, Nicholas and Roland are ranked at the top, and a lot of readers also seem to like the Crispin kids.

Dianna’s Playlist

Dianna’s playlist often intertwines with Roland’s so I had to go back to my previous post to make sure I didn’t accidentally repost the same songs. I think I’ve managed to avoid that…and so, here are a handful of songs off Dianna’s playlist!

Never Mine is a song written and performed by my friend Mary-Kate Edwards. It’s one of my favourites of hers and I absolutely adore listening to it, along with the rest of her album when I’m writing.

I’m so excited about the scenes I’ve written to these songs in book two! Especially in the cases where the songs overlap between Roland and Dianna.

I also can’t wait to introduce the handful of new characters to you all…hehe!

Rose’s Playlist

Rose’s playlist has a lot of really cute, warm fuzzy type songs, mixed in with some sassier bops both of which are extremely hard not to sing along to.

Her playlist isn’t as long as her uncles, but it’s been catching up while I’ve been editing and re-reading book two.

Not the Girl by Annabel Gutherz is such a fun song. I fell in love with it instantly, and Annabel is an incredibly sweet, human so I highly recommend checking out the rest of her music! This song specifically made me think of Rose and Thompson haha.

Rose is such an adorable bean. The song Eighteen makes me cry, but I also love that it’s on her playlist.

Roland’s Playlist

I haven’t shared music from my characters playlists in a couple of months, and thought January would be the perfect time to start. I’m constantly adding new songs to these, and occasionally listen to them while I write.

Most of the scenes that I write with music happen to be Roland’s, so his playlist is the longest out of everyone’s. The first song is by a band I used to listen to a lot when I was younger. I started teaching myself one of their songs on the guitar the other day after it popped into my head, and then I went and found the album.

I hope none of the songs provide any series spoilers (they shouldn’t), but I do hope you find one to add to your own playlists.

I’ve written a lot of scenes with Roland to this cover by Chase Holfelder. I highly recommend checking out his music on YouTube, he’s got a lovely voice and his arrangements are really nice.

Roland’s got one of the moodier playlists, but it’s also one that I like to listen to in my free time, or when I’m just hanging out. I’ve found a lot of really beautiful songs while writing this series. Try to Change is probably one of my favourites that I’ve come across while creating this series.