2020

Goals for 2021

| Ardin Patterson

Happy New Year!

Since 2020 definitely did not go as planned, I decided that this year I wanted to create some more realistic goals given our current state and circumstances.

I’m hopeful and excited for this coming year. I’m grateful that my family, friends, co-workers and cast-mates have remained safe during this pandemic. I’m truly thankful. By the end of the year it was all I wished for.

Reading Goals

Last year I completed my reading goals twice! I haven’t set my goal for this year but I think I’ll increase it somewhere to about 60 books, since I reached my goal of 30 two times. I tend to adjust an extra 5 books when I’m ahead of schedule. In just these past 3 days I’ve read 5 books. I haven’t been on a reading binge like this since…maybe high school?

On top of that my other goal is to read more diversely. This means finding new favourite authors in the genres I adore. I’ve already got a list of recommendations thanks to my lovely BookTuber/Bookstagramers along with the list I’ve compiled on my own. I’m really excited to check out all of these books!

I would also love to discover some new authors this year. As I am publishing my first novel myself, I’d love to see other’s work too and support it!

Lastly, I want to be accepted for more ARC reviews. I got my very first one of the year and I can’t wait to do more!

Writing Goals

Now onto my writing goals. Normally I don’t create a set goal of how many books to write in a year, however I think this year I’d like to try it. I think that I’ll try to officially complete 3 of the novels I’ve been working on over the years. By officially complete I mean have them heavily edited and cleaned up for publication. This seems like it’s a reasonable goal.

Other Goals

I’d like to post more on this blog and on my YouTube channel. I personally prefer blogging but I’m bad for creating music or other content for YouTube and not posting it. I’ll try to be a little more consistent with that this year, although I don’t know if I’ll create an uploading schedule or anything. It depends.

I’d also love to accomplish more on my list of voice over goals. I actually managed to meet some of them during 2020 which was a huge surprise, especially since the industry was shut down. The projects I contributed to were fantastic and I learned so much while working on them!

Another thing that I want to do this year is be a little more active. I used to be fairly athletic but stopped on and off during university. With the work that I do I find I’m either sitting or standing in one place for long periods of time. So, this year I think I’ll work on getting back into shape. Exercise helps me feel better and makes it easier for me to think. It’s great for relieving stress!

I also want to learn at least 3 new recipes. I haven’t decided what yet. Something yummy!

I’d like to get better at embroidery and draw more this year. It’s really calming.

Saying Goodbye 2020

| Ardin Patterson

In a couple of days we’ll be saying goodbye to 2020.

I would say this year most of us were like Cinderella before she met her fairy god-mother. Or Rapunzel perhaps? I never thought I would ever compare myself to a lonely damsel, living a sheltered life…and yet, here we are.

I can honestly say that I did not reach very many of my goals for the year. I spent my birthday in lock down along with every holiday that followed. However, I’ve tried to make the most of it. I wrote, I learned some new songs on the guitar, I recorded a play and an audio book, I played games online with friends and family. I even reached my reading goal for the year…twice!

This year has so much heaviness attached to it, that I would love for it to vanish from existence but part of me also appreciates the time I’ve had to reflect on the world around me.

Books have always been my escape from reality.

As a child, they stopped me from feeling lonely when I started at a new school (for the 3rd time) and I got older, I read to keep my sanity during the days of high school drama, exams and rainy afternoons.

Reading brought me a sense of freedom and joy. It allowed me to explore and open myself up to infinite possibilities.

Now during 2020, I’ve come to realize how books have played such an important role in my life. Whether I was reading them or writing them, they acted as a security blanket, that I could clutch as I fell asleep at night.

When I needed something to hide behind, books were there. When I woke up from a nightmare, I could grab a book from my nightstand and read until my my heart stopped racing. There were even times when reading stopped my heart from breaking. This year, it connected me to new people: people who were new to reading, people who loved the same books I did and people who simply wanted anything to read because they too wanted a temporary distraction from all the pain in the world.

I’m not sad to see 2020 leave us. I can’t say I’m all that enthusiastic for 2021. Hopeful yes…but until my fairy god-mother appears, I won’t be stepping out in a pair of glass slippers. Instead I’ll stick to my pajamas and stay in to read a good book.

Editing My June 2020 Project

| Ardin Patterson

Back in June, while waiting for my editor to get back to me with her feedback on my debut, I started working on a new novel outside of my debut series universe.

I initially had a goal of completing the entire thing in under a month, but it had to be put on hold as I had other projects that required my attention.

Now, I know I just finished editing my debut but I’m happiest when I’m writing and I want to finish off the year strong. I want to complete this novel before the year ends!

That is why I’ve decided to go back and edit the first half of the book, up until where I left off. It shouldn’t take me too long. I just want to familiarize myself with the characters again and flesh things out. I did a good job plotting this novel out. I left things off a few scenes before the climax.

I know that it seems a little silly to be giving myself all this extra work to do versus taking time to relax but now that I’m finished editing my debut, and recording my first audiobook I need something creative to do.

I’m hoping to finish editing these pages as soon as possible. Oh and don’t worry I’m still working on the draft for book two with Nicholas, Roland and friends. I just don’t like leaving projects incomplete and need a challenge.

New Music!

| Ardin Patterson

My new cover is up on YouTube and is also available to stream on Spotify, Apple Music, Deezer and more!

I had a lot of fun singing and playing this song. It was a song I used to sing all the time as a little girl. It really resonated with me back then. I’d love to cover more songs that remind me of my awkward preteen-teenage years haha.

What was your favourite song as a kid?

Projects, Planning & Productivity

| Ardin Patterson

The weather’s been weird lately. One minute it’s boiling the next the wind is so strong I can barely open the car door without it slamming back in my face.

Windy days aren’t exactly fun when you decide you want to wear your hair out either. If I wanted a bowl out, I would’ve used a hair dryer! Sigh…of course the heat isn’t always friendly to hair either is it?

One thing that is nice about this bizarre weather is that it’s spontaneity inspires me to be more productive. The unfortunate thing is that with all I have on the go, I probably need to invest in a personal calendar. My phone just won’t cut it. I’d like to try and manage all of my projects effectively, whether that be recording which is currently my #1 priority (I’ve been recording an audio book this summer and it’s been so much fun!), or editing.

I also just started working part-time along with my job as a voice actor and the editing I do occasionally on the side. It’s nice to be working again, since the media industry is still adjusting to the changes happening during the pandemic. I’m eager to get back into the studio but I’m being as patient as possible and I’m making the most of the gigs I’ve been getting here and there during this pandemic. Plus my part-time job is loads of fun! I spend all day surrounded by books!

I do wonder if it’s possible for me to become more productive? Especially on my days off. Of course it’s important to take a break every now and then but when you have goals in mind, it’s good to stay on top of them. I try to set miniature goals for myself, of the things I’d like to accomplish in a week. I have a few set for this coming week. I’d like to get lots done in the next couple of days, but I also try to be realistic in what I can accomplish within a short span of time.

I have a habit of trying to do too many things at once which can at times be overwhelming, so I know that in order to counteract that, I have to make time for myself every so often so that I don’t burn out.

In terms of editing right now, I’m a lot further behind than I would have liked and what’s frustrating about that is the fact that I’ve got 3 chapters and 2 scenes to go. I’m at the end of the race with this 3rd round of edits but I chose to put it aside to complete other things. I think that by planning out my day and getting some sort of routine going for my editing, like I do for my at home recording sessions, I could probably get through these last few chapters more efficiently. Of course I still have to do a full read through before returning my corrections and my approvals back to my editor but I think once I get the last bit of editing done I can relieve some of the weight on my shoulders.

This is my debut. I just want everything to go smoothly.

Speaking of writing, I thought I’d do a little survey out of curiousity. If you’re a writer yourself, what is your writing style?

Hello! – June 16th

| Ardin Patterson

I haven’t updated my blog recently…mainly due to the heartbreaking events that have been happening over the past few weeks. It didn’t feel right to post novel updates or do character collages. I felt that it was better to amplify the voices that needed to be heard at the time.

These events also made me reflect on my work, and how I can use my platform (although it isn’t very big), to educate people on the importance of diversity in the media.

I have been complaining about the lack thereof, for a couple of years now and before the tragic death of George Floyd I had been writing and planning post regarding diversity in books. I noticed that within my older work, despite having mainly white leads, there have been themes of injustice, not feeling like one fits in, prejudice and racism. Topics that I unintentionally included, and was writing about as a teenager…that I never thought to reflect on until becoming an adult. I think that in the back of my mind, as a visible minority in my community, and being mixed race, these were things that were constantly happening to or around me, that instead of speaking about them openly, I ended up expressing them through my art. A lot of my older stories explore things that I sometimes struggled to understand…emotions that perhaps at the time I didn’t know how to work through.

Do I put myself into my stories? No…I don’t think so. However, I cannot deny the correlation between things happening in the world around me and themes that appear in my books.

Injustice and racism play a huge role in my debut novel…along with discussions of police brutality. I wrote this when I was in high school. I have cops in my family…however, I am a POC. I am fully aware of how people view black people. I have had family members racially profiled. When I started this novel, I was being bullied at school and called all kinds of derogatory names. I brushed it off, but it still hurt…and somehow those emotions manifested in a place of creativity. It actually made me realize how deeply racism affected me growing up.

At seventeen I unintentionally wrote a series where one of my main characters is a visible minority, who is profiled and mistreated because of he’s different. He is forced to change himself to fit into someone else’s standards in order to “protect” himself, and has to act a certain way so people don’t “fear” him.

This series has definitely grown up with me in many ways…but I can’t deny that this character and his experiences are a reflection of how I felt at the time, when I was made to feel…different because of my hair, and my skin. Things that I couldn’t change or control. I understood and related to his frustrations while writing because it was something myself and many other people of colour have and continue to go through.

Realizing this…makes it a bit painful to write. I’ve been working on another novel while my debut is off with my editor, but everything in this series seems so much heavier than I initially thought…I had no intention of writing a story like this…but it seems I’ve been telling stories of injustice and cruelty my entire life. Somehow…pain seeped into my space of creativity and transformed itself through fiction into something that I could handle. In a way…it’s almost a blessing that I’ve been able to use my creativity to express these types of emotions…despite being fully aware of it.

The world is definitely changing…and I think this change will be good. I don’t want my children to have to bury those feelings of frustration and pain so deep that…years later they realize it manifested in their art.

On a less…depressing note…I’ve been working on some really fun voice over projects lately, and I’m really enjoying myself. I’m also finally able to buy makeup, which I haven’t done in…wow…I have work, so I actually want to use some concealer and what not. I’ve liked taking a break from wearing makeup, however, I also miss playing with all the beautiful colours and seeing what types of looks I can create. Honestly, I think Valentines day was the last time I did my makeup. My skin was really clear at the time, so I only used a bit of concealer. Being single on Valentines Day was so fun. I’ve been single every Valentines Day…so far though? I don’t mind honestly. Most of the time I was either in school or working, and I just like the holiday because I have an excuse to wear lots of red (like Christmas).

I’m rambling now, but I really just wanted to end my blog post with something a little less gloomy. I’ve been on and off social media as well because I’m finding it’s been taking a bit of a toll on my mental health, and because my job requires me to be very energetic, I don’t like to feel sad before I get in the booth.

Please remember to take care of yourself, stay safe, wash you hands, and be kind to yourself and others.

Progress Update – 23007 words

| Ardin Patterson

I’ve been distracted lately, by everything that has been going on…and it is taking my a little longer to write this novel than I had intended, however, I would say that given the circumstances, I am doing fairly well.

I have reached 23007 words, and although I don’t really enjoy fixating so much on the word count, I have found that tracking it does motivate me.

My chapters seem to be coming along nicely, and it has been nice to have a project to work on amidst all this chaos…there needs to be some type of order I suppose. I may do some art later as well to help…relieve some stress. I’ve been working out a lot this week because it helps me clear my head.

I forgot how good it felt to have my feet slam against the pavement when I would run. All of my stress and frustration or anxiety would disappear with each step. I haven’t been for a run unfortunately, but working out at home is just as effective as it would be to go out.

Today my sister and I decided to go to one of our favourite bakeries and get donuts for our friend and her family. We haven’t seen them since the quarantine took effect, and decided it would be nice to go and drop something off.

It is hard with everything going on…but to see our friends speaking out against all of this injustice and the protest in our community, has been a nice reminder that others do care, and they aren’t going to sit by and watch anymore.

The amount of friends who reached out and said, “I love you and I’m listening” has touched my heart to the point where whenever I think about it I tear up. I guess I’m a bit of a cry baby sometimes…but it is nice to be told you’re loved and I wish I said it to my friends more often, because they mean a lot to me.

I guess I’m the type of person who, although I can spend much of my time on my own, I love to hang out with my friends and family. I’ve missed recording at studios and going to the bookstore and drawing with friends or playing games together. I miss just talking about nothing, and thinking of ways to make them smile.

Unfortunately we still have a ways to go before we can do that again.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to muster up the energy to create in a world that seems to be falling apart…if that is what calms me, and if it provides a sense of safety and security…then I suppose it will do until I order pizzas with my friends again and play video games.